what happened!

what is real and what is not. what is true and what is not. these are two permanent questions i have in mind. Today i saw something which was hard for me to beleave. I saw some Tibetians protesting for their right and freedom. All of a sudden polices comes and start talking to them and with in a span of 15 mins they started beating them up. They were dragging them all over, putting them into buses. They did not cared who is it girls, guys, women. they were just pushing them and dragging them. When some of them actually said leave us we will go home. But even then they did not let them go.

I failed to understand what was it? when everything could have been sorted out calmly then why it all happened. May be because some people wanted to make it big. May be because some big people wanted it look attractive and appealing to the audience. I do not know.

But yes! this was my first such experience and i was thrilled by what all happen. I also understood the importance of a photographer. For good or for bad, i don't know but yes photographers do play a very important role.

THE LEARNING PROCESS

We keep learning things till the time we don't die. Sometimes we want to learn and sometimes they are forced but we do learn. Photography is something which I do want to learn. I have given my self this time span of a year in which I want to collect all the elements. which I can use to develop my own style in photography. I came to an institute to learn because I knew that if I approach different people for different styles myself, maybe it'll take ages to reach there. But an institute can give me this chance to meet people from this industry with different vision and different style.Which makes it easier for me to develop my own sense of photography.
Initially as the course started it went above my expectations. I was very happy with the kind of teaching environment we had. But as few months passed everything became unorganized and undisciplined. And there just one prospective we could follow or we were opened to. It looks as if one style ruling our mind. I learnt a lot in this institute,maybe more than what i thought of. But now is the time i need a change a big change. Because i feel stuck now, I feel i am not growing anymore. Nobody is talking about creativity , infect i am not learning anything new now.
so I am waiting for institute to bring us back to the class. So that we can learn more and develop our styles.

NONSENSE

There are few things which always irritated me, and people who just do buttering and always keep looking for places to show their presence has irritated me to the core. And those are the only people who are appreciated alwayssssssss.... sacac is a place where i never expected these things but again facing this immature behavior all the time. Please for heaven sake give me a break from these irritating things man.
For god sake this is a creative place and we all are here to learn something. I have worked. I have something to show but my work will be looked only when my turn comes but the one who already showed you his work thrice will keep coming to you and will keep showing you the work and you will keep seeing it. Only because he was always there on your side and keep buttering you all the time. What the hell is wrong with this world man.
Now it feels i no more wants to show my work to anybody who doesn't respect it.  I feel highly dissatisfied and highly irritated with the working environment in here. And i think i would have to face this poor and insensitive approach every time.

UPS AND DOWN!

We may think everything is right, We may think life is going perfect. But twist and turns are always there in the way to perfection.
last few days have been very disturbing for me. As I was working on the assignment environment portraits. I had very interesting people to capture. I had my compositions in my mind. I had everything setup in my mind and I was sure this time I am going to get what I want. But as always nothing was going my way. After so much of hard work after so much of traveling and fixing everything. Most of my subjects didn't turn up. They had other priorities and I could understand that.
But all this made me think about everything again. And when you stay alone on your own in a city where people are changing every other second. Travelling every where alone, walking for kilometers with 3 bags on your shoulders, and have nobody back at home to at least give you a glass of water. Makes you a little irritated. And more than that worst is you know you could had a better shot but you couldn't because you don't have a nice camera. And that very moment I say only one thing to my self that now." I really need to work even harder". If I want to be the best I would have too. And no matter what but i will prove myself every time at every step. Yup that's it but I will not let these feelings go for sure!

ME AND PHOTOGRAPHY

This is my photography blog and I have never written about how I choose to be a photographer. So yes today I do wants to talk about it and here I go...

I have studied journalism and mass com.I developed my interest in photography from there only. Photography was 1 of the career options for me but now as I have tried working in almost all of the possible options. At this point of time I am very very sure that its photography I want to do. Because this is the only thing for which I can wake up early in the morning and can have sleepless nights. I am not 1 of those people who are much disciplined in everything they do. I have always been a very average student. Always high on life and laughing on every serious thing. But when it comes to photography I worked day and night, I read books; I really go mad when it’s about photography. It has always been my passion and I feel I am 1 of those lucky ones who can make their passion their profession. moreover I would say this is 1 thing which interest me the most and I can see myself lost in this world of photography for all my life.

People find me funny most of the time but the whole personality changes in fraction of a sec. if anything related to photography comes out. So yup something which gives me a world of my own is really important for me and that is photography.

And the kind of photography which interest me the most is.... I would say everything, I came here saying I don't want to do fashion but now I know there is nothing as such. I like all kind of photography till the time the image is talking to me, I like it. And as a photographer I would like to do everything, all the genre of photography. But yaa the once which fascinated me the most are the nudes and war photography because for doing both of them I have to step out of my comfort zone. Also because I fine it a little tough, as if now I don't know the level of difficulty in shooting nudes and war but I feel these are.

As a photographer I want to establish a name for my work. And also wants to earn money. I also want to face big challenges. I want to keep breaking the rules as I go and also wants to make my own way.

I FELT......

I don't know what to write and what not to write, because in my last posts i was writing my experience in photography. But in last few days i almost dint shoot. As i was always stuck with other things. People coming home, somebody's birthday,some friends visiting from other countries, parents want me back home. There was so much happening all together that the thing i talk about the most was not at all there. Photography was not there.

how is that sometimes it gets so tough to decide what to do and what not to do. There are few things which always bothered  me like will i ever be able to live my life the way i want to live it. And when i say i give i damn to the world, do i actually mean it? will I ever be able to do it? Because its the world around me which decides my ways and my destinations. yes! its them not me. Its always them.

I want to find my own way. I want to stand strong and I believe I will but for that I would have to push my self really hard.

MY VISION

I always had so much to say, so much to express but i think its always a little hard to make people listen to you specially when you are serious. But now as I see myself growing from inside and I try to observe every small thing around me. Side by side i am also understanding the core of photography which is emotions and expressions and the relatedness as methew and nitin sir say . I feel i no-more need words I no more need people to listen to me. Because they automatically getting attracted towards my vision my perspective through my photographic work. Now when i take my camera into my hands and start clicking pictures i don't go mad shooting. But i just let my thoughts flow and sometimes i manege to get my canvas painted the way i wanted it to. And there at that point of time my need for words stops because my image speaks for me.
And all of this happening because of sacac. The best thing i like here is as i try to take a late back somebody comes and shake me up. The moment i start taking bad pictures they pulls me back on the track. When we started with our classes with nitin sir there were so many questions in our mind. I don't think i should write it but yup at one point of time i thought he can't teach us. But look all of us now, within the span of hardly 1 month he made all of us work so hard and we actually got good pictures.
so one thing is sure that i am never going to say no to any learning here or further in my life. Because maybe it seems to look stupid, irritating or goes over the top of your head in the starting but everything seriously holds some great teaching and knowledge within which you realize with time.
As in past few weeks i was working on the assignment HONEST EMOTIONS. I could seriously manege to take out some images. I think its because of nitin sir. He helped us to open up our vision and read images. As i went out for shoot of honest emotion i was capturing only those situations where i saw emotions and feelings. But as he says nothing walks alone so i also took care of the environment and composition. And yes everything was working for me.
so i would say i am loving my everyday experience here. even a single day i miss out i feel terrible. it feels as if i missed out a very important learning. I am putting my self completely in here lets see what all i take and what all i learn!